


Tumblr Requests and Prompts

by fangirlandtheories



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Requests, Team as Family, Whump, trigger warnings in the notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlandtheories/pseuds/fangirlandtheories
Summary: Any requests or prompts sent to me @fangirlandtheories.tumblr.com.





	1. long sleeves, fake smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Request: "Ezekiel used to/still does (up to you) self harm and Jake notices during the clown episode? (If that's an okay subject for you?)"
> 
> I wanted to write this to the very best of my ability because stories like these are considered taboo and are generally left out and as someone with experience with a lot of these issues I want everyone to know that you’re not alone and someone can help you. I’d like to thank the anon wh0 requested this for such an amazing request. I hope you all enjoy.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM

**long sleeves, fake smile.**

Shut off love. Shut off happiness. Shut off truth and perfection. Shut off dreams, reality, and sanity. Shut off hope. Ezekiel Jones never intended to shut off feeling but it wasn’t something he could control. The awareness of how little his life meant crashed over him, daily, pulling him into his own mind like quick sand.

_ Ripped apart, limb by limb, _

_ Shattering bones, heart caving in. _

_ Self mutilation, scar after scar, _

_ Empty and hollow, _

_ Worn like tar. _

It had began years before, when he was a teenager. He had watched his best friend, his partner at MI6, get shot. The girl wasn’t very fortunate. He wished it would’ve been a single shot to the head, rather than the five shots to the chest. She bled to death in his arms while he could do nothing to save her. Ezekiel knew that he should be sad, the only person he had trusted was gone. Instead he felt the deep web of nothingness. That’s why he did it the first time.

Technically the  **_first_ ** time had been an accident. He had stumbled into his condo. He had tried to drown his numbness with alcohol, but it wasn’t doing much to help him. It made him forget, which was a sort of blessing. As he walked into his kitchen, he knocked a knife off the counter and tried to catch it. It sliced from the center of his palm to the inside knuckle of his ring finger. It was a red hot, steady pain. Excruciating. He liked it. To be fair, he liked feeling something. He wasn’t a fan of pain per se but it was better than dull nothingness.

He had grown since then and had sought out a new means to feeling fulfilled. The exhilaration of a heist outweighed the pain of a blade any day. The problem was that the heists had to be bigger, harder, more elaborate than before. As he grew more stronger in his theft abilities, he grew in confidence too. He was stealing things no one else had ever dared to. Oh the rush! He would be chased by guards every day of the week, wandering around all the wonders of the world, traversing and pillaging everywhere he went. It was a difficult life to lead. After a while, nothing was enough to fill the hole in his heart. Then came Cairo.

He had taken to traveling around the world to see famous museum exhibits, trying to take some of the most precious things. He had already earned a lot of fame and notoriety but this was the icing on the cake. At 16 years old he was considered a world class thief by the entire world of thieves. It was nice and all, but he was beginning to feel nothing again. He needed something new, something interesting to take his mind  off his nightly routine with a razor blade. That was when he met Flynn.

He may be a world class thief but he still made some mistakes. One massive one was stealing from the mummy’s sarcophagus at the Cairo Museum. It was a weird memory that made more sense now. The mummy came to life and tried to kill a tourist, all to get back the gem that Ezekiel had pocketed. He remembered seeing some crazy professor fight it off, yelling about a library. Little did he know that just a few years later they’d meet again and that Ezekiel would actually work for the very same Library.

It had been two years since he started at the Library. Two years since the last… _ incident _ . He was fine. He was sure of it. Maybe he was even… happy. That feeling washed away one day and something entirely new took over. Whenever he had cut himself before, it was because he felt nothing. This was new. He cut himself now out of fear. Fear that he would cause their deaths. Fear that he grew too close to them, yet them not close to him. Fear of losing the one good break he ever had. He was never the same after that damn time loop.

His normal solution was to run, however, he loved them far too much to be able to leave them. He decided that hiding it behind long sleeves and a fake smile was his best option. He was doing a damn good job at hiding it too. That is, until he wasn’t.

The Amazing Mysterium, aka Kirby, had messed Ezekiel up. Not only did he take over his mind and control him, something terribly against Ezekiel’s morals, but he also was easy to trick. Ezekiel had a feeling the mission would end the way it did, but he never pictured that it would be him who delivered the final blow to the magician. He glanced over at Jake, who was staring at him oddly, but Ezekiel knew why.  Jake had seen. Ezekiel was a shirtless snakecharmer and Jake had noticed. The others hadn’t, thank God, but Jake did. Nevertheless, Ezekiel did not want to deal with all of that at the moment. As soon as they got to the Annex, Ezekiel went home. 

When he woke up the next morning, he expected the overwhelming surge of nothingness to hit him, which of course, it did. He wasn’t, however, expecting to find Jake reading a newspaper on his sofa.

“Did you break in here?” Ezekiel yawned at him.

“Yeah. I shut down your security system this morning.” Jake smirked.

“You… how?” Ezekiel whipped to face him, shock evident in his creased brow.

“I remember seeing you do it before so I just copied what you did.” Jake laughed at how surprised Ezekiel was.

“That… is actually kinda hot.” Ezekiel could feel his cheeks burning. “Anyways, what do you want?”

“Why do you have scars?” Jake cut straight to the chase.

“Wh-what?” Ezekiel wasn’t expecting him to be so blunt.

“Why do you have scars?” Jake repeated. 

“I’ve been… fighting.” Ezekiel whispered. He wasn’t picturing this to be the conversation. He was supposed to have time to prepare a story. Time to wear his fake smile. Instead he shoved the mask on as quickly as possible, leaving it susceptible to slipping.

“Who against?” Jake asked gently.

“Myself.” Ezekiel couldn’t lie. He hated to lie more than anything. He was going to make up something about an actual battle but when he locked his brown eyes with Jake’s blue, he couldn’t bring himself to it. He caught the pity in Jake’s eye. “I’m fine.” He wanted to talk about it. He wanted to scream, to yell, to shout about it, yet all he could whisper was ‘I’m fine.’

“You don’t  _ look _ fine.” Jake kept trying to break through.

“Then stop looking!” Ezekiel snapped. He rubbed his face with his hands, seeing the hurt expression on the art historian’s face. “Why is everything I do so…  **_wrong_ ** ?” He groaned, feeling the guilt for yelling at Jake.

“Your thoughts kill you, don’t they.” Jake asked, looking at the man who hung his head in quiet shame.

“You have no idea.” Ezekiel gave a humorless laugh, finally looking at Jake. “It’s been this way since I was a teenager. I thought I was getting better. I haven’t… I’ve just gotten better at hiding it.”

“What do you mean?” Jake asked.

“I mean… you guys think  **_me_ ** stupid but I fake a smile everyday and  **_you’re_ ** the ones who believe it.” His voice was hard and steely, full of emotion that was making it’s way to the surface, unable to stop.

“We don’t think you’re stupid.” Jake told him. “Just out of concern… when was the last time you…” He trailed off.

“It’s been happening on and off since I was 14. I would find something to fill that emptiness, but nothing was ever enough. I thought the Library would save me from myself but nothing has been the same since the Video Game. I’ve done it about 3 times since then.” He confessed. Jake had suspected that he remembered the loops.

“Doesn’t it… hurt?” Jake asked, genuinely curious.

“It does, but that’s the thing, I don’t care if it hurts, I just want to have control. When you spend so much time feeling nothing, feeling pain and having control is a relief.” His voice broke as he made direct eye contact with Jake. “I was trapped in that nightmare. Shaking. Trembling. Terrified. My nightmare didn’t happen just once though, it happened over and over and I was powerless to stop it. That is why I need control.”

“Ezekiel I’m so sorry.” Jake whispered, looking at him in awe. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“You actually care? Even though I’m completely broken?” Ezekiel asked quietly, while looking down at his lap. 

Instead of answering right away, Jake leaned over and gave him a light kiss on the temple. “I care. I’ll always care.” He then whispered in Ezekiel’s ear. “Everyone is broken, they just like to pretend they’re not. It’s like a mask no one is willing to take off. Trust me, I would know.” Ezekiel gave a light smile, feeling slightly better after finally telling someone everything, before laying his head against Jake’s chest. “Ezekiel Jones, you’re so loved here. We will work through this together and be there for you, forever,”

For the first time in forever Ezekiel switched on his feelings.  Switch on happiness. Switch on tr uth and perfection.  Switch on dreams, reality, and sanity.  Switch on  hope.  Switch on love.


	2. You Don't Know Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A major misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for my darling Bri who requested an angsty "You don't even know me." for Jake and Ezekiel.

Sunflowers are often said to be a symbol for unrequited love, mainly due to the myth of Clytie and Helios. Clytie loved the Sun God more than anything, but he had eyes for another woman. Filled with unrequited love, she’d watch him drive his sun chariot across the sky for 9 days straight. On the ninth day she became rooted in the ground and transformed into a sunflower. Stuck to only follow the sun, but never to have it. Ezekiel was afraid of becoming a sunflower himself. Stuck watching Jake flourish in life while he drifted into the background wasn’t an option. He needed to make his move. Soon.

The mission went off without a hitch. Finding the door was proving to be more problematic. Jake threw open the nearest door, hoping for the familiar blue glow, only to find a janitor’s closet.

“Here’s one!’ Ezekiel hollered from a few feet down the hall. Jake raced towards him as he yanked it open. Instead of finding the Annex they found a patio with that led to an open iron gate, behind which, a beautiful garden full of fairy lights and picnic areas welcomed them. It was mesmerising. They couldn’t stop themselves from feeling drawn to the pathway, and soon they were deep within the lush greens.

“This is… beautiful.” Jake whispered as he glanced around with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Ezekiel whispered. This was his chance! He had to give him a very carefully worded hint. “This would be a great place to bring a date.” He added in a wink for extra measure.

“Absolutely.” Jake nodded quickly, before being distracted by the buzz of his phone. “Jenkins says the door should be in the next hall to the left. Let’s check it out.”

***

It had been a few hours since they returned to the Annex and Jacob was nowhere to be found. Ezekiel was working on one of the many time machines, despite the fact that Jenkins said it would never travel again. He wiped his hand across his forehead, leaving a smear of grease above his brow. His attention shifted to his phone where the screen lit up with a notification from Jake.

**Rhinestone Cowboy: Hey remember that garden today? Would you mind meeting me there in like an hour? Bring your lock picking set ;)**

He smiled as he typed his response. 

**Sure. See you there :)**

***

Ezekiel rolled the sleeves up on his denim jacket, glancing at the time on his phone. He was meant to meet Jake in 10 minutes so he went and grabbed his favorite pick set before making his way to the Annex. Jenkins was tidying up the large room, despite the fact that it would be cluttered again only a few hours later. Ezekiel loaded a door up with the app he had created for his phone. As he opened the door, Jenkins called out behind him.

“You might want to...” He gestured to his brow as he tossed him a piece of cloth. Ezekiel snatched it from the air, smile growing as he wiped the grease off his face.

“Thanks Jenkins. What would we do without you?” He asked.

“Die most likely.” The older man grumbled as the thief tripped through the door.

***

“Hey you’re early.” Jake smiled as he saw Ezekiel approaching.

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting.”Ezekiel laughed as he pulled out his pick set, noticing the picnic basket in Jake’s hand. He kneeled and began working on the old, iron lock. “A starlight picnic, huh? A little cliche, but I’ll give you my props.”

“I figured it would be romantic. I brought blankets, some wine, and some little desserts. We should have a nice time tonight.” Jake explained, glancing up at the full moon. It was a perfect night for a starlight picnic. A clear sky and chilly enough to encourage snuggling close to each other.

“Got it.” Ezekiel told him as the lock popped off the old fence. He pushed the gate open and flicked on the light switch, illuminating the garden in a soft, beautiful glow. He turned around to ask Jake where they’d be having the picnic, when he noticed the woman.

“Right on time.” Jake smiled as he kissed her cheek. She turned her attention to Ezekiel who stood by watching. “Jones this is Layla. Layla this is my friend Ezekiel. He was just helping me get the garden ready for our date tonight.”

_ Our date. _

Realization hit Ezekiel like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t there for a moonlit picnic with a cowboy he’d grown to love. He was simply a tool that Jake had used to his advantage. He suddenly felt the warmth of embarrassment spreading across his face. He felt like an absolute idiot. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t find words, so he closed it again. He glanced up to find both Jake, and the girl… Layla? Staring back at him awkwardly. “What?” He asked, not expecting his voice to sound quite so tight.

“I said thank you.” Jake chuckled before walking closer to him. “I can take it from here man. I really appreciate it, but this is a date… Do you mind?”

“Oh sure!” He was very clearly faking the happiness. Then the fake happiness turned into anger fueled by passion. “Silly me. I forgot that my soul purpose was to help others when they need me to do the things they shame me for daily.” He spat before storming away. Jake furrowed his brow as he watched him disappear through the door.

***

“Jacob!” Jake blinked back to reality at the shouting of his name.

“Hmm?” He drew his sight back to Layla.

“Oh my God just go.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, surprise clearly evident in his tone.

“Yes. I’m positive. This date clearly isn’t going anywhere anyways.” She huffed as she gathered her things before heading towards the gate. “Thanks anyways. Now go fix whatever it is that you’re dealing with.”

It didn’t take any other persuading for Jake to race for the door that was still set up for him. He stumbled into the Annex where Eve and Cassandra glared up at him.

“Have you guys seen-” He was cut off by them pointing towards the door to the reading room.

“Go fix this.” Eve commanded.

Jake found Ezekiel typing on his computer with headphones in. He was practically smashing the keyboard with each stroke of a key. 

“Jones.” Jake sighed, sensing the anger in the room. Ezekiel didn’t lift his glare from his screen.

“For what?” The harsh cold in the young thief’s voice surprised Jake.

“For… I don’t know, I guess assuming that you didn’t mind picking that lock. Although you did say yes, so forgive me if I’m not understanding because I thought you would like breaking into a garden after hours.” Jake answered with confusion.

“Then you **_clearly_** don’t know me.” Ezekiel ripped the headphones from his ears and shut his laptop, giving Jake his full attention.

“What’s your problem man?” Jake asked. “Bringing a date there was your idea.”

“You used me to impress some random girl!” He shouted. “You judge me daily for doing my job, until you need to use my skills for your own selfish gain. The worst part is that you don’t get it!” 

“What am I not getting Ezekiel?” Jake gestured wildly with his arms, voice raising.

“It may not seem like much to you, but today we walked through those flowers and for just a moment I didn't feel like Ezekiel Jones, Master Thief. Or Librarian. I just felt like I could freely be myself. Like I was something special.” He confessed, looking Jake in the eye. “It took so much for me to even suggest bringing a date there because I thought you felt it too. I was clearly just an idiot.” 

“I-I don’t know what to say to that.” Jake mumbled, clearly stunned.

“Then don’t bother saying anything at all.” Ezekiel stomped towards the door. “You guys wonder why I don’t let people get close to me? This is it.”

With that Ezekiel left Jake to wonder how he’d gone so wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope I did this request some justice. If you’d like to request more prompts, please come to my askbox at fangirlandtheories.tumblr.com.


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